Saturday, April 21, 2007

Another Cool Think about Bicycling

When you're a fit middle-aged cyclist, sometimes very nice things happen. See, you're hidden behind all the idiotic-looking bike-geek-wear, so nobody can tell how old you are.

Sometimes it's just the whistles and cheers and catcalls from attractive young ladies who have no idea they're ogling their fathers' contemporary. Those times are pretty nice.

Sometimes it's something even better. Like today, toward the end of the first serious ride of another glorious season, when I was charging through a busy and sometimes dangerous crossroads. There was an SUV waiting to pull out from the right-hand side street, and as is my usual practice to try not to die, I made eye contact with the driver. She was a breathtakingly pretty young thing, and everything else around the intersection was clear, so I kept her eye as I rode by. She started to smile, keeping my eye too. And the more I stared, the bigger her smile got, until it could have done just as good a job melting away our way-too-long-and-cold winter as today's glorious sunshine and spring temperatures.

I finally had to look away, and the whole thing didn't last more than a few seconds. But what a magical way to spend those few seconds.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

It's So Very Nice that Brain-Dead Morons Have a Place on SCOTUS

Regarding the Kennedy/Breyer opinions about the Guantanomo scum (to be referred to henceforth as "The Guano"):

The President doesn't have to go to Congress for war powers. That power is his by virtue of something I like to call "the US Constitution," you f***ing "intellectual giants!" Did you ever bother to read it?

And, Nancy Pelosi -- the Guano don't have Constitutional rights. Those are for citizens of the US -- that's in there too. But I know you're just a girl, so it's not as bad that you don't know that.

Update: They're not just stupid, they're arrogant; Kennedy lectures our President on needing to go to Congress to get the authority he was granted by the Constitution. But he ignores the clear language, pointed out by Scalia in his dissent, that Congress had forbidden any court to here this very case. Breathtaking.

Monday, June 05, 2006


Yesterday I did 47 miles once the oppressive 36 hour rain finally took its leave. It was too chilly for June -- I wore arm warmers for all but the last ten miles, when the sun finally came out in force and warmed things up (in concert with the beastly mile-and-a-half long, brutally steep climb at that point). The north wind was a Saddam Hussein affair -- it was my ally for the front half of the ride, almost a direct tailwind as I headed to hills down south. But I knew even then that I might one day have to go head-to-head with its evil, and my Desert Storm came all too soon as I headed back north. My battle, however, was no cakewalk -- more of a Somme-style trench warfare quagmire.

Today I towed the chunky young spud for ten or twelve miles. He makes the smaller hills a real workout too. I'm counting on the strength training from hauling his princely (m)ass up the nearby climbs to make my ride up Hogpen Gap a breeze this fall.

Friday, May 26, 2006

If They Don't Want to be Americans, Send 'Em Packing!

Little Green Footballs has the latest updates on the idiotic (and now, apparently, DOA) ukase from the Michigan DOE regarding the use of the words America and American.

In other news, Michigan DOE "social studies consultant" Karen Todorov has directed that only Kleenex brand facial tissues be called Kleenex. All other brand should be called by their proper brand names, or simply facial tissue.

Additionally, she has sent word to WW Norton & Company, publishers of The Ugly American by William J. Lederer and Eugene Burdick, (required reading in all grades and all classes in Michigan schools) that the book must be renamed The Ugly People of the United States or it will be removed from Michigan classrooms.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

That Bicycle Chick was Right About Another Thing

I was overly harsh about the residents of New Orleans.

Oh, don't get me wrong. I still think we should nuke the place and consider ourselves ahead of the game. Let's not forget, after all, the grievous injuries I've suffered there. Those alone oughta be worth a Minuteman.

But I made the mistake of believing the news reports on the MSM about what was going on in New Orleans after Katrina. Unfortunately, the MSM got the stuff completely, utterly, incompetently, criminally, murderously wrong, as Jonah Goldberg spells out here.

Funny. Those pompous bastards sit in judgment of everything everyone who makes an honest living does, constantly criticizing actual productive members of society. Yet they obviously can't be trusted to do their own damn jobs with even the most minimal competence. So why the hell do we listen to a word they say or write? (Well, I don't anymore -- why the hell do the rest of you?)

Promised Bike Stuff

Yesterday I experienced agony like a dog in a couple ways: I was suffering the final effects of some dread allergy crap that felt like flu, and just to shake things up, I rode the breathtaking Eddy Merckx over the ridiculously steep hills south of my hometown that are like the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact -- positively not good for a Polish man like me. (They're not good for any man, really, but I had to work in my learned reference to the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact.)

Today I rushed home and hooked up the exquisite Burley D'Lite and towed my fat-ass little fifteen-month-old son behind my gorgeous K2 mountain bike for ten miles. Did I ever mention how much I despise people who spend $500 for a bike trailer and only go around the neighborhood? I towed that little bugger until he fell asleep from exhaustion; I imagine it's awfully hard work sitting in screened, plush comfort with toys while I slave away pulling his girth about.

And did I ever mention that that chick from that cycling website was right -- the way I afford the multi-thousand clam bicycles I ride (and the trailer my son rides, the cost of which could feed Burkina Faso for a week) is that I have a trust fund that could feed Burkina Faso for a millennium?

Wow, Someone Once Read What I Wrote (and Wasn't Too Happy!)

Check it out here. I just posted a comment, which I assume nobody will read since the post is ancient. But it's a damn good comment.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

What Absolute Living Pieces of Crap These People Are

Here. They're beneath any further comment.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

You All Said I Was Crazy...

Remember those hundreds of angry comments appended to my post about Iraq hostage Susanne Osthoff being in league with the terrorists, part of my general commentary about the worthlessness of Germany? Y'know, about my being a stooge for the Bush administration, or perhaps hopped up on goofballs? Well, check this out.